I did bloody horrible yesterday. 1100 calories. Omg fuck this. And today fucking 700 calories. I have to fucking fast tomorrow. And if i do eat, i can't go over 300. And fuckfuckfuck. The last two days ive been stuck yoyoing a pound. Thefuck! I have to lose a jean size by the end of the month. I wilk not buy more clothing in my current size, im a fat fucking pig. Ugh.

i put new batteries in my scale & it decided to work :D so happy
& i lost two pounds this week since sunday :]

i feel like im eating too much (cause i am :P)
2 oranges-142 cals
partially eaten chicken fillet- 70ish cals
rice & beans- i want to overestimate so i'll say 400 cals
total as of now: 612ish
if i eat anything else, i'll make sure my intake for the day won't go over 700
& i had gym today (weight lifting) so thank fucking gosh i burned some calories doing that.
by the end of the month I HAVE to be a size 5 ugh. when i am, then i'll buy new pants that i need desperately.

trying to get my ass back on track : / i'm totally disgusted w/ myself. i lost 7 pounds in the summer and i put them back on. i need to be a size 3 by may. im a size fucking 7. >:-(
anyway, heres what i had today
1 orange - i'll overestimate it to be 80
1 cup rice w/ beans- lets say 300
1 chicken filet (NOT BREADED) -150 (i'd rather overestimate :P )
 probably 530-550ish.
i'm definitely keeping it 700cals tops.

i'd love to be able to confidently wear a crop top and skinny jeans *sigh*

ew. i feel like a fucking  failure. today i ate
2 eggs (220 cals)
seaweed(80 cals)
plantains(50 cals)
some chips(lets estimate 250 cals)
1 apple(60 cal)
1 oreo (70 cals)
pizza crust(lets estimate 30 cals to be safe)
1 candy cane (60 cals)
total cals: 820.
ugh. i'm fucking disgusting.
i'l workout later and do a minimum of 125 sit ups.

 wow, i haven't posted in forever. i guess i was busy. the last time i posted i didn't even have braces on, and now within 6 months, i should be getting them off. finally. i think i'll go check up on everything here today. and how are you? and oh yeah, merry chirstmas! and happy holidays to those who don't celebrate it ;-)!

ohkay, i hit a bump in my life, i got pass that, but i think i may be starting up again soon. any who, i am in love w/ robert pattinson. but im not a stalker or anything lmfao. just pierced my own cartilage, like a week ago. its healing fine, just as long as my parents dont find out.;) close call yesterday though, i was changing my piercing prematurely, so naturally it bled a little, so i use t.p.  (toilet paper for those of u who dont know) and cleaned it up. rookie mistake tho, i forgot to flush it. my mom went to check for the piercing, luckily, i wasnt wearing it at the moment, so that temporarily saved my ass. but the piercing is back in, woot-woot!. i know they'll find out eventually, lets just hope they don't make me take it out tho. i guess being a minor can be quite suckish, but oh well. if anything, i'll get it re-pierced, & professionally.:)

i thought this video could cheer you up if you were in a bad mood,
hope it works.
but i need to get real, this abc thing, its not working for me.
and you know how your teeth feel weird and dry after you purge?
well i didnt and my teeth feel like that.
O_O hope its not bad.
and oh yeah 12 more days of spacers

 i got in my stupid spacers today.
they are these little blue things that make room for braces
earlier i was all yay because i would lose weight
but now it hurts
later on i might sneak some pain killers from the kitchen
i am starting a 15 day countdown
but i would wear braces for about 2 1/2 years
first my top teeth 
then bottom

today was horrible .
i ate :
mozerella sticks
pretzels
waffle w/ ice cream/ syrup
i dont think i will be eating anymore today.
and if i eat tommorow, it will all be veggies, fruit, smoothies, and other liquids.
nothing other than that.
and what sucks is that every 1-2 months i have to go to a nutritionist bcuz before all of this, my weight was on the 85th percent tile.
i know, pathetic. but its lower now, of course. but i just want to have to stop going. its soooooo annoying. gawd. and im so jealous of my friend because today i found out that my friend has a b.m.i. of 14.5